let's go
by ginger sugar
Summary: "I promised, didn't I?" Fandom: Aphorism. Hinata childhood fic. Warning for coarse language, slightly adult implications, gross speculations, and lack of plot.


It is dark and small and musty and hot and he is tired of screaming and so he just wraps his aching fists around his knees and shuts his eyes. His fists ache, sting sharp at some parts, but he can't tell if they're bleeding because everything is dark even when he opens his eyes. He can feel the grooves at the bottom press into his skin and shuts his eyes so he doesn't have to see the darkness and "_Oneesamaoneesam-"_

And a click and creak and everything is flooded with red, he tries to lift his eyelids but can't because it's to white and it hurts his eyes and then it is dark and warm and soft and calling "Sanjuurou, Sanjuurou." , and it is now that he realizes that he is crying.

* * *

><p>He sleeps on her bed a while: when he wakes up she has her bag and his bag and his hand held tightly in hers and they're out the door and Mother is either not here or completely silent. But it does not matter now. He does not ask where they are going. She doesn't look back.<p>

* * *

><p>"Sit up straight and eat- god, you're hopeless. Here. Hold them right. Yes. Like that. Good boy, Sanjuurou."<p>

"….I'm going somewhere tomorrow. I won't be back in a while. A year. "

"…I'll come back. I'll definitely come back. Until then you have to take care of yourself. Don't think you can slack off once I'm gone. You've still gotta read those books I got you, got it? Every word, I'll check it when I get back. And don't you even dare think about not doing your chores! Clean your room every week, got it? Sweep under all the cupboards, make your bed, just like I taught you."

"...don't get into trouble. No fights, no messes. Don't-don't let Auntie worry about you. "

"Be good, okay?...I'll be back. I won't let you stay here forever. I'll be back. I promise."

There are two dark shapes streaking across the light, fighting.

"…nothing wrong with it."

"You don't owe him anything."

"Do you even hear yourself? He's not even four."

"It's not our responsibility."

"He shows great talent-"

"You wouldn't buy Yukio a piano-"

"What has gotten into you?"

"I just think you're not thinking reasonably-"

"I'm not the one making a huge deal about giving a child a fucking book!"

"_Do not make me the monster in this!"_

"….."

"I'm not the one who wanted to raise his cousin's children. You make a living growing soy beans- no, you _try_ to make a living growing soy beans-get this straight. You have four children, two of which barely got into school because you couldn't pay their school fees. And one day this girl turns up, says she's your cousin's daughter, with her little brother, says she needs a place to stay for a while. And for the next two months you have me feeding them and clothing them-"

"That's what relatives do for each other-"

"-_you're buying books for someone else's brat when we can't even pay our water bill!_ When we're eating rice with soya sauce every day! What else, you going to buy him his own land, pay for his marriage while you're at it? Or is that what you owe to your "niece", too?"

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"-I, I- well, I don't know. Hardly any siblings are born that far apart."

"Akie. "

"Well, you can hardly blame me for coming to that conclusion, can I?"

There was no noise. Then there was a very loud one. And then even louder.

"SHE'S NOT EVEN COMING BACK! _SHE'S NOT COMING BACK_- THAT SCHOOL SHE WENT TO, I ASKED-NO ONE EVER COMES BACK FROM IT, NO ONE, SHE'S FUCKING GONE-"

"_You shut up-"_

"She's gone, _she's gone, _and she's dumped her brat on you, don't you see, _don't you fucking see-"_

There are two dark shapes streaking across the light, and one small shape in the corner, knees against his chest, watching the shadows as they stare back, as the house creaks and crashes and people scream and a shaft of white light plays across his toes.

* * *

><p>He gets up when the house is still silent. Folds his blanket into a neat rectangle and places it on top of his pillow, just like she'd taught him. He dives under the bed (slightly dusty, but she's not here yet) and drags out his bag, already filled to the brim with the books he'd been given.<p>

(He leaves them under the bed. She'd always told him to be suspicious of what he hadn't earned.)

He walks out of the house and doesn't look back.

He sits on the curb. There is no one else. He doesn't read the books even though he wants to, and just sits and watches.

He watches.

The sun is high in the sky when he stops watching, and starts running.

He runs.

Heruns.

He runsrunsrunsrunsrunsrunsruns-

(_I promise.)_

His breaths come out hard and fast and he runs and runs and runs

"Oneesama!"

runsrunsruns

"Oneesama!"

Runsruns

"Sanjuurou!"

(steps off the bus, hair a dark smudge against the sky, and dark and warm and soft and he never, ever doubted, he knew-)

His breaths come out hard and fast, and he knows he is crying.

_(They walk out, hand in hand, and they don't look back.)_


End file.
